I guess what I realised about running, for me, is that it is not about anyone else – its not about proving it to someone, or making them proud. For me it’s about what I can do and control. In running, you control the speed, if you want to walk – you walk and when you finish, its only you who can say you have achieved it, and you did it on your own.
I found this article online: 15 things you should give up to be happy; which got me thinking…I have spent a lot of my life trying to please people, trying to set really high expectations of myself and of others and I always getting disappointed with the results. With running it’s all about me and if I set realistic goals and achieve them then it makes me stronger – both physically and mentally. It has also shown me how I am ready to let go of what others think, let go of the expectations and pressure I/others put on me and just run.
So I am running for my health and my mind and keeping myself happy. It is not to lose weight because I/others don’t think I am worthy without being a certain weight. Weight after all just a number, so who cares? As long as I can learn to be comfortable in my own skin then that’s all that matters. In the end I only need to worry about how I feel about myself.
OK that’s my rant over, anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is, that it’s all about setting your own goals and changing your own perceptions of yourself. I still have a long way to go to reaching all of my goals but the point is I acknowledge that I need to make myself happy above everything and everyone else, and I acknowledge that in order to do this I need to let go of my past thoughts, habits and feelings in order to attain these goals.