Having acknowledged this is the first step in my journey to building up my confidence. The second step was writing it down and recognising that its holding me back, thus the creation of this blog was in some ways my strategy to overcome my personal issues and help me to move forward to happier me.
By posting my honest opinions about myself, my life, my sadness, it has pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and really be honest with myself and everyone I care about, still in a space environment behind a computer screen. Allowing my friends and family to read about my feelings, I suppose the next step would be to actually tell them out loud, but for me, this is a huge task and something I will need to work towards in the future.
With me opening up to my feelings, thoughts, and opinions I sometimes explain myself in a terrible fashion. Because I am not use to actually saying how I feel I generally react either extremely defensively or aggressively – which then does not help my cause to have myself heard. I am however learning from these situations. Real practice in these situations helps me better myself and improve my confidence so that the next time I am faced with a similar situation I am better prepared on how to best respond.
While on this journey of self discovery I need to be very critical of how I react and how I communicate, but avoid being critical and hard on myself. After all, harsh self judgement is unproductive to my cause.