Life just gets ahead of me sometimes. I am a super organised person – I am talking excel documents, schedules, spreadsheets kinda organised. But like most things in life you can’t control everything. I think this is the biggest thing I battle to deal with. I tend to take on the world and everyone’s troubles all at once and then freak out when I naturally can’t get things right, or the way I would expect them to go. This goes back to my high expectations of myself. I am generally not realistic in terms of what I can do and what I am expected to do. Its my greatest fear is to let anyone down.
Lately though, I have hit a bit of a slump. I just can’t get myself out of this rut. Lots of family stuff going on, personal issues, relationship stuff, holiday organising and so on. I just don’t ever get to the things that matter to me. The things I want to focus on, like being able to work out 3 or more times a week, like working on my relationship, like being happy with my life. At first I thought it might be a good thing to take on the world, that maybe then it would distract me from the hurt and sadness. What its done is actually made me more sad and more hurt. And harder still people close to me haven’t realised even that I was hurt or sad in the first place. And how could they? It’s not like talking to people about my own feelings is my strongest point.
So I am taking a giant step back, and I am setting myself 3 goals a month. 3 realistic, achievable goals, and I am taking it from there. If that doesn’t work to everyone’s plans or expectations or they feel disappointed that they are not on the list then that’s their issue, it can not mine. My time needs to focus on me right now, at least 50% of my time needs to be about me. I need to do this right now. I’m not saying that I will always be this selfish, but right now to get the hurt and sadness away I need to look after me, I need me-time. I need to be selfish, for the good of my own emotional and physical health.
So my 3 goals this month of July are:
1. Fitness routine – I have signed up for the bettyrocker 30 day challenge, 1 week down, 3 to go. It’s been amazing! I recommend those of you interested in going on your own fitness journey to check it out, its free and you feel the burn! #makefatcry!
2. My dad’s 70th – I might not be able to afford going down and seeing him, but its his special month and I want him to know how much I love him and make him feel special.
3. Eurotrip – My first overseas holiday with my man, for 17 blissful days we shall escape the mundane and enjoy time together, celebrate a great friend’s wedding and enjoy ourselves. We are young, ready to go all out and worry about the consequences later – i.e worry about the credit card bill in August.
So what are your 3 main goals?