OK so I mentioned at the end of last week that I need to work on my Get Happy Goal. I have been very honest here in my blog that I am not happy. I actually am in a bit of a slump lately. My mood has definitely taken a turn for the worse and I have been left wonder “Who is Meg? and What makes Meg happy?”. I have promised myself as well as my loved ones, especially Rob, that I am on a path to discover answers to why I am feeling the way I am, and how I can get into a better mental space.
So I came across this challenge (yup, I know, ANOTHER challenge). And instead of doing it for 10 straight days, I decided I would do it once a week for 10 weeks. It seems like its been going around for a while now (pic below from this blogger), so I am joining in a bit late, but better late than never!
- I am scared of the dark. I have this crazy fear that there is someone lurking in the shadows that I can’t actually enter a room without switching on every light. This however has not stopped me from my obsession with all things vampire, werewolf and supernatural of any kind (not the sparkly kind though, although I have watched the movies, I prefer the gruesome kind).
- This leads me to an even more bizarre secret, I hate scary movies. Movies about vampires, werewolves and supernatural beings? – Game on! Movies about some hillbillies out in the woods who eat people? – No way! For some reason those kinds of movies toy with my imagination and make me feel like they really could exist. This leaves me in a state of screaming, closing my eyes, covering my eyes and wanting my Mumsy.
- I am a fussy eater. People who know me will say its a lot of things but I have over the years learnt to group them into a single list, which consists of: Any Meat on the bone or meat with fat on it; Lamb in general; Avo; Tomato (the fresh kind); Mayo; Mustard; and Seafood (this includes anything found in the sea/water). But I do however eat oysters – ya, I am weird like that.
- I am scared of heights. Deathly afraid. I once went to Madison Square Gardens in NYC for a music concert and I wasn’t able to got to the windows edge without kneeling on the floor. I also had nose-bleed tickets for this concert, that that was terrible. This fear of heights has not stopped me from going up most high towers and buildings in all the countries I have ever visited – the plan to conquer my fear has simply failed. My knees always shake and I break out into a cold sweat.
- When I was growing up I wanted to be a dance choreographer. Secretly I still wish I had that job. Although I can’t dance really. I LOVE dancing, dance shows and dance movies!
- I am addicted to stationery. When I was little (and sometimes still) I used to take a notebook, open it up and rub my cheek on the fresh page. What? Doesn’t everyone do that?
- I love watching reality TV, and crap in general. Its a pet peeve in our house that I watch/record a lot of rubbish. Well, its not my pet peeve! And truthfully I have seen Rob peeking over his laptop watching it too!
- I cannot catch a ball without closing my eyes, which generally means I don’t catch it. I told you I wasn’t a sporty person. I was however on the netball team till half way through high school, for the simple fact that I was tall. I played goal keeper and since I was on a good team, my interaction with the ball was limited – thankfully.
- I am not sure I want to have kids. This is a hectic one for a lot of people. And I know my folks secretly hope I will change my mind. Its probably for another post but I have a big fear of being a mom. The responsibility of raising a good person is overwhelming to me and I have such high expectations of myself that I would hate to put that on my child too.
- I spent everyday of high school coming home and crying. I hated school. I felt most people judged me, and I never felt like I fitted in. Truth was I was depressed, I just never dealt with it. Later in varsity, while completely my Masters, I hit breaking point and went on to medication and therapy. Last year I realised I have a problem with depression, and this year again I fear the depression enveloping me. I have made it my goal to figure it all out and I will. I secretly worry that this is who I will always be.